How to experience orgasm: The viewpoint of the gynecologist
Many women begin to examine their bodies in the bathroom: timid touches, the first orgasm caused by the water jet. You feel incomprehension and embarrassment, spasms and pleasure are seizing your body after a minute of touches. I am glad for women and their abilities, but not all women know how to experience this pleasant, inebriant moment when your body is feeling tender languor. Let’s talk about the ways of reaching the cherished orgasm.
I love teaching about our health using knowledge of the organization of the human body. Let’s recall some information about the organization of our bodies so you could understand how you can influence the zones which are responsible for experiencing orgasm. It doesn’t always depend on the clitoris, muscles of the perineum and the functions of the vagina. It also involves other parts of our body.
Anatomically vaginal orgasm results from the muscular contraction in the pelvic area. It is easily proved by masturbation. Among men, it is often followed by male ejaculation (ejecting semen from the male reproductory tract). Among women, it is followed by the expulsion of fluid from a female urethra so-called female ejaculation.
Most women reach orgasm by direct manual or oral stimulation of the clitoral glans, but for many women, this is the only way to experience it. Therefore, this kind of stimulation is recommended along with vaginal sexual intercourse.
Only the tip of the clitoris can be seen at the top of the vulva during the gynecological examination. The rest of it is hidden in the thickness tissue and is not seen. The body of the clitoris is divided into two “legs” and lies in labia minora that have a considerable number of sensory nerve endings and receptors. The upper part of the clitoris has a little hood that is also connected to the labia minora. If you pull the labia minora, they shift the hood on the glans of the clitoris. This manipulation can cause a pleasant feeling. At the same time, the sensible “legs” of the clitoris are also pulled so it brings additional pleasure for women.
All this provides indirect but effective stimulation of the clitoris that leads to the culmination of experiencing orgasm. In fact, the point is that the vaginal orgasm is physiologically caused by the indirect stimulation of the clitoris. As a rule, the indirect stimulation of the clitoris during vaginal sexual intercourse is considered as “vaginal orgasm”.
Anorgasmia is an inability to achieve orgasm.
The study of physiology allows us to understand exactly how the vaginal orgasm is formed and explain why some women are not able to experience it. The habit of achieving orgasm using the direct stimulation of the clitoris during masturbation is the reason for the fake anorgasmia in women. Women, who face with the anorgasmia during vaginal sexual intercourse and who experience orgasm during masturbation, can tackle a difficulty consistently mastering the method of indirect stimulation of the clitoris. It means gradual development of erogenous responsiveness on indirect stimuli and influences.
If a woman manages to influence the clitoris indirectly, for example, stimulating vulvar lips so the zone of the erogenous responsiveness develops and as a result it may treat “fake anorgasmia” completely.
One of the rare and special forms of orgasm is myotonic one, which can be reached by strong tension of adducent hip muscles. To achieve myotonic orgasm a woman toughens her muscles in a proper and individual way that leads to orgasm quicker than vaginal sexual intercourse. During myotonic orgasm, there are no special erogenous zones in women. In fact, a woman experiences this kind of orgasm through masturbation. Myotonic orgasm, without realizing that it’s an orgasm usually develops in girls from their childhood and this may cause some problems in the future with vaginal orgasm during sexual intercourse with a partner, because a woman got used to achieve orgasm by crossing, clenching her legs or toughening her hip muscles that is difficult to apply in most poses during the sex with a partner.
Some women are able to achieve orgasm without direct stimulation of genitals – for example by petting of nipples, kissing on the lips or by other ways of exposure.
Psychological factors of orgasmic dysfunction in women
- Fear of intimacy.
- Fear of pregnancy.
- Fear of infection.
- Lack of security.
- Distrust of the partner.
- Fear of being “incongruous”.
- Sex is bad.
- Orgasm is something non-existent and difficult to achieve.
- Good girls don’t experience orgasm.
- Sex and orgasm are for men only.
These conditions don’t allow a woman to surrender to her partner and to her feelings in full.
What can be done to help:
- Telling your partner about your desires and fears.
- Changing beliefs with the help of a psychologist or a sex therapist.
- Choosing safe and effective contraceptive methods with the help of a gynecologist.
- Making a medical examination of your and your partner’s sexual health.
Physical factors of orgasmic dysfunction
- Lack of time and intensive interaction with a partner. What’s to be done? You can help yourself! Having studied your body, knowing your erogenous zones you can tell your partner about your responsive body zones or you can stimulate them by yourself.
- Painful feelings and discomfort. There can be a lot of problems preventing orgasm: anatomic disturbances, inflammatory process, venereal infections.
What can be done to help:
– See a gynecologist.
– Medical examination.
- Lack of lubrication is a reduction in vaginal secretion of natural “lubrication”. The reason can lie in insufficient time and intensity of foreplay, weak arousal, hormonal disorders, and dysbacteriosis.
- Intolerance of local and barrier contraceptives may cause pain, irritation and anorgasmia. Adjustment of an efficient contraceptive method will help to resolve the issue.
- Reduced or absent muscle tone. This condition occurs due to a sedentary lifestyle, injuries, hard physical labor, giving birth to a large baby, several pregnancies. The pubococcygeus muscle becomes weaker, therefore, the sphincter tone drops and as a result, it may cause pelvic organ prolapse. It leads to insufficient contact and perception of each other during sexual intercourse, the orgasmic cuff of a woman is weak and orgasm can get blocked. Doing regular exercises, intimate muscles training, postural control, refusal to lift heavy objects, use of sex toys, breathing exercises may help you here.
- Maladaptive masturbation is a kind of masturbation which allows reaching orgasm individually, on your own without participation of your partner, for example when you clench your legs. Habitual mechanism of self-satisfaction may be easier than sexual intercourse with your partner.
What should be done:
– Learn how to create a new reflex pathway and build new “reflex bridges” with your partner. For example, your partner should join in masturbating before you reach orgasm; this is gradually forming a new habit of sensation.
– Sometimes it is possible to refuse to have sex for a while with a therapeutic purpose. The sex therapist, gynecologist, and psychologist will help you in this situation.
7. Lack of knowledge about physiology and anatomy. Not understanding the mechanisms of achieving orgasm, not knowing how your partner works are not the best helper for you. If you understand the male anatomy reading professional literature it will build your confidence.
How to experience orgasm
Doing Kegel exercises may help you experience orgasm. There are plenty of devices for these exercises: Kegel balls, pneumatic training simulator and pelvic floor electrical muscle stimulation. The kGoal trainer is one of the most successful training simulators, which includes many methods.
“kGoal is an interactive training system for pelvic floor exercise.”
The pelvic floor muscles support the uterus, urinary bladder, small intestine and rectum. Strengthening and training the pelvic floor muscles can help in prevention and treatment the urinary organs, rectum and regulation of sexual functions.
Unobvious conditions which are necessary for reaching orgasm:
- A safe situation with the exception of the cases when danger is a factor of arousal.
- Hygienic practices that respond to your and your partner’s requests.
- Normal muscle tone and blood circulation in the pelvic organs.
- Sufficient lubrication and no pain.
- Knowledge about the body allows you to understand your partner better during arousal, self-stimulation or mutual sex satisfaction and also prevent injuries.
- Contraceptives and understanding the action algorithm if there is force majeure related to the chosen contraceptives.
- Infection prevention and control.
A woman makes the first steps on the way to sex when she examines her naked body, admires and touches it. The next step is masturbation and the ability to experience orgasm on her own. Furthermore, she teaches her partner about her knowledge. I wish you a lot of orgasms in your life!